The Hour of Attack is at hand!  The Day of Victory draws near!  Clingon Imperial Headquarters has decided to accelerate our scheduled conquest of Planet Earth!  One of our Main Enemies, Barack Hussain  Obama, has discovered our plan to take over the United States, and has exposed our presence--even our very nature--to the people of America; this has placed all our carefully laid plans in jeopardy!

     Barack Hussain Obama has revealed our secret identity to the Elitist Swarm of America:  we are the creatures who are bitter at being ignored by our governments, our politicians, our self-proclaimed betters and would-be masters, the billionaire socialists and their elitist henchmen in the drama-academia-media-arts establishment, the Ninnies and the Twits; we are the Secret Society of Normal Earthmen, angry at seeing our jobs taken from us and shipped overseas to factories worked by wage-slaves for pay and conditions that our grandfathers and great-grandfathers fought against and outlawed in the United States generations ago! 

     We are even angrier at politicians who do the bidding of these Malefactors of Great Wealth and their Elitist Swarm  by allowing the unhindered invasion of our sacred soil by criminal invaders who come here, without our permission and against our law, to steal from us jobs that Americans--like any hard-working Earthmen--have always done, and are eager to do, if only we are paid a decent wage!  We Clingons will not be driven into poverty by the Elitist Swarm driving down our standard of living in a Race-to-the-Bottom of the Wage Scale, competing with slaves on other continents to see who can live on the least!

     We Clingons believe that as the Earthmen of all nations aquire education and the ability to operate modern factories, producing great wealth, they should recieve high wages as do the Earthmen of the United States, Western Europe and Japan---not forced to live on the same wages, with the same standard of living as they did in previous millenia as illiterate peasants.  When they receive high wages--like Americans--they will consume more, raising their standard of living and further speeding the growth of the economy of Planet Earth.  Ultimately all Earthmen will live in an economy of educated workers, modern technology, high productivity, high wages, high consumption, high standard of living, and high profits through huge production at a low profit margin---the American System made popular by Henry Ford, which he modeled on the previous factory systems of such great American companies as Smith&Wesson, Remington Arms, Winchester and Sam Colt---all made possible by the trailblazing innovation of the American Eli Whitney, inventor of the modern factory system of production and interchangeable parts.

   The alternative course, which the Malefactors of Great Wealth and their Elitist Swarm are pursuing, is the Ancient System of the Old World---a tiny  Super-Rich Political/Corporate Elite:  the "PolitiCorps"---a small, politically insignificant middle class, and a huge mass of impoverished wage-slaves, struggling to please their bosses in order to avoid being fired and finding themselves--and their families--among the starving unemployed.

This is the economic/social/political system we see today in the "Third World"---from Brazil to Bangkok, Bangladesh to Burma,  Bolivia to Bulgaria, Mexico to Morocco, and Chechenya to China.  The hungry workers---and starving unemployed---of this Third World will gladly subject themselves to horrific conditions and poverty wages, simply in order to feed their families; and if they are allowed to continue to invade America, and drive down wages in the United States,  the Earthmen of  America will be driven back into this Ancient System from which our families only so recently escaped---by coming here to get away from there, and the Malefactors of Great Wealth who monopolized economic opportunity and political power back in the Old Country. 

     This is the reason we Normal Earthmen become CLINGONS:  men (and women) who cling to our guns, our faiths, our values, and our nations---complete with borders and armies and laws, and governments ready to use same to protect us and our families---and we will not give them up!  Here in the United States, we Clingons cling to our Constitution as the guarantee of our liberty, and we cling to our Guns as the guarantor of that Constitution.

     Main Enemy Barack Hussain Obama has launched a clever political assault on us Clingons by slandering us, portraying us as losers, racists, morons and zenophobes---hence, his statement that we only cling to our guns and our religion(s) because we have been out of work for 25 years  (not us, Senator Obama---we don't believe in lifetime welfare), and that we cling, additionally to "antipathy" (read 'hate') toward people who are not like ourselves, or toward immigrants (no, Senator Obama, we don't hate immigrants---we are the descendents of immigrants, or immigrants ourselves, and proud of that fact---we just want immigrants to come here as LEGAL immigrants, in compliance with American law, as did our ancestors, and some of us---not as criminals, including an unknown percentage of gangbangers, drug dealers, and now terrorists).  

     Senator Obama further accuses us of being opposed to world trade; not at all---we just want that trade to be conducted with nations that compete with us on a level playing field, beginning with paying their workers wages comparable to our own for similar work, and at a minimum allowing them to organize labor unions to bargain collectively with their bosses---whether private billionaires or state billionaires, as in Communist China, Vietnam, North Korea and Cuba---and enforcing laws that will protect the environment and their populations from destruction and deadly pollution; we want to compete with countries that, like America, enforce laws that make their products safe for our children---and their children---to use, play with, and eat.   We Clingons will cling to that demand, Senator Obama. 

    And stop lying and calling us racists---please?   Senator Obama?   It is not we who are contemptuous of those different from ourselves, Senator Obama---we work with them, laugh with them, date them and marry them every day (or hadn't you noticed?)---it is, rather, you and your elite social circle who are as contemptuous of those different from yourselves---people in small towns, for example---as you claim, in your ignorance, we are.  

     Get out of your golden ghetto, Senator Obama.   Take Michelle on a driving vacation---just you and her and a few dozen bodyguards and flacks, no doubt---and get out and see America beyond the limits of your upscale neighborhoods in Washington DC, Chicago, and San Francisco;  you just might be surprised to discover that we Clingons are not the ignorant racist bigots you portray us as.   And don't worry, Senator---we'll forgive you your insults and trespasses against us; our religion teaches us to do so.